Save You
by abuabu-chii
Summary: Kanda Yuu has always been blessed, yet his life is meaningless. Allen Walker has everything to live for, but his illness is slowly killing him. They're meant to hate each other, meant to fall in love - but are they meant to save each other? AU YULLEN
1. Chapter 1

… **Eh heh. Um, hey guys… -Cricketcricket- Um… I'm alive?**

… **Yeah. I know what you're thinking. "WTF, ABU! WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING ON CURSED?!"**

… **I GOT DISTRACTED, OKAY?! D: THE PLOT BUNNIES WERE BREAKING DOWN MY DOOR, AND THEY FORCED ME TO WRITE THIS! I TRIED TO STOP THEM, BUT THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!**

**I simply cannot focus on Cursed right now. Dx I tried, I really did, but for some reason, I'm really dissatisfied with it right now. For now, I'm taking a short break with it and writing this, in hopes that my interest will spark again.**

**FORGIVE ME!**

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**Yeah. :3 Anyway, I've been working on this lil' idea for a while. It originally started out as a very sad oneshot, but… Somehow, it evolved and kind of took on a life of its own. I don't think a oneshot would do the story any justice.**

**Disclaimer: In my dreams. D:**

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"Neeeee, Yuuuuuuuu-chan!"

A pair of sharp, dark blue eyes turned to glare over a broad shoulder. A scowl clouded over the features of the tall, beautiful man, and he paused a second to snap at the irritating red head bounding up to him from behind.

"Baka Usagi, don't call me by my given name!"

"Ah, Yuu-chan, why so grumpy? You should be excited! It's the beginning of our last year! We're seniors now!"

Seniors, indeed. It hardly felt like Kanda had been attending Tokyo University of the Performing and Visual Arts for three years already, but in just on year, he'd be graduating. Not that he cared all that much about it, anyway…

"Che. Only an idiot like you would get excited about that."

"But Yuu-chaaaannnn…"

What was the point of being excited? There was still a whole year before graduation, it's not like it made any difference. Besides that, in Kanda Yuu's twenty-one years of life, he had rarely ever been excited about anything.

So, Kanda turned back around, shifting the camera bag that hung off one shoulder before continuing down the sidewalk and up to the gates of the school. Lavi, his red-haired companion, trailed after him, his hands shoved in his pockets, his head tilted back, whistling cheerfully.

"But seriously, Yuu! Seniors! This year is gonna be epic!"

Kanda rolled his eyes and blew a puff of air up at his midnight hair, making his bangs flutter.

"Jeez, Yuu-chan, don't be so enthusiastic about it, you might hurt yourself ther — Ah! Lenalee!"

They had passed through the university's gates now, and Lavi quickly spotted the Chinese beauty. Hearing her name, she turned, violet eyes blinking and black pigtails swinging. She grinned at the two, and scurried over to them.

"Lavi, Kanda!" She chirped, "It's been a while, ne? I got so busy over break, I didn't have much time to call you guys."

"Nah, don't worry about it! I was busy helping ol' Panda-ji-ji at the shop all break, and Kanda never answers his phone, anyway."

"Che."

Lenalee laughed at the two before continuing. "So, are you guys going to the freshman orientation ceremony?"

"Why would we?" Kanda asked, scowling. Lavi pouted at him.

"I wanna go! I mean, you didn't even go to our own orientation ceremony, Yuu-chan. It'll be fun. Besides, isn't that one kid gonna be there?"

"Kid? You mean the pianist, Allen Walker?" Lenalee asked, smiling. Lavi nodded. "Yeah, he's supposed to be playing a piece! He's supposed to be amazing. Only eighteen, but he's been invited to join a ton of famous orchestras all over the world! He turned them all down, though. He wanted to go through college."

Lavi nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, yeah, I read about him! S'posed to be a prodigy. Supposedly, he can hear a song once and play it perfectly by ear. Composed a few songs, too!"

"Yes, it should be really interesting, seeing him play." She turned to glance at Kanda. "So, are you going to go?"

Normally, Kanda would have simply said no and walked away. However, before he could stop himself, he heard himself say, "Che, whatever." Lavi gave a cheerful whoop and Lenalee beamed.

Kanda didn't know why he had agreed to their request. Looking back on it months later, he found he was glad he had.

Lenalee and Lavi lead Kanda to the auditorium. It was a huge building with stadium seating and a large stage where all the plays, dances, and performances were held. Presently, a microphone and a grand piano were set up on the stage. They found seats in the middle and waited.

For the first fifteen minutes, the dean of the school made a long, incredibly boring speech, followed by a long lists of announcements and information for the freshmen. Finally, after hearing the man talk for over a half hour, he said, "And now, we have a very special performance by a new student. As you all know, he is already quite the celebrity in the performing world, but I hope you will all accept him just the same. Ladies and gentlemen, Allen Walker-san."

There was a small burst of applause and excited whispering as the boy walked onto the stage. Kanda blinked in surprise. For eighteen, he was quite small, and had the most startling appearance. His hair was snow white and fell to his jaw, and even from the audience, Kanda could see the bright silver of his eyes. There was a strange scar that ran over his left eye, though Kanda could not see it well from where he was sitting, and he was very pale. He wore black slacks, a white shirt, and a gray vest. Also, he wore white gloves.

'This kid's a freak show,' Kanda thought.

The audience fell into a hush as Walker bowed nervously and settled himself on the piano bench. He fidgeted slightly. All the attention seemed to unnerve him a little. Still, he took a deep breath, straightened his back, and placed his hands gently on the keys.

And then he began to play.

Kanda instantly recognized the piece. It was Clair de Lune – a beautiful piece that was known to be terribly difficult to play, even for skilled pianists.

It was beautiful.

The music spilled over the stage into the house, filling every corner of the auditorium. Everyone in the audience sat in complete silence, eyes fixated on the small figure at the piano. The piece wasn't only played perfectly, without a single mistake, but the emotion rang out in every note, clear as day, nearly tangible. It was stunning.

Kanda glanced briefly over at Lavi and Lenalee, who sat next to him. Lavi seemed to be in a stunned awe, and Lenalee actually had _tears _clinging to her lashes, her hands curled up in her lap. When Kanda dragged his gaze back at the pianist, he had his head bowed, eyes half closed, swaying ever so slightly. He was completely absorbed in his playing

Those five minutes seemed to last an eternity.

The last note hung in the air, shimmering around them for a good ten or fifteen seconds before the spell broke. The audience surged to their feet, bursting into wild applause. Walker glanced up, blinking slowly before smiling weakly. He seemed a bit pale and shaky, as if the small performance had drained him somehow, but he rose to his feet and made another clumsy little bow before walking off stage.

As soon as he was gone, Lavi and Lenalee jumped to their feet, scurrying off just as the dean was coming back on stage. Kanda, confused, followed after them.

As soon as they were out of the auditorium, they began talking.

"That was amazing!" Lavi crowed, eyes wide and bright. Lenalee nodded several times.

"We have to talk to him!" She cried, a wide smile on her face, "Come on, he'll be coming out of the back door."

They followed Lenalee (Kanda was beginning to wonder why he still felt compelled to follow the two…) to an alley way at the side of the building, where the performers or actors or whoever happened to be on the stage at the moment exited. Sure enough, just as they walked into the alley, the door swung open, and out came Allen Walker. He blinked up at them, looking startled.

"Ah, hello…" He said slowly, smiling shyly. Immediately, Lenalee (who was blushing slightly), spoke up.

"Hello! We saw your performance and we wanted to meat you!"

"Yeah, it was really great!" Lavi said with a friendly grin, "Name's Lavi."

"I'm Lee Lenalee," Lenalee said, before pointing at Kanda, "And that's Kanda. I… I was very touched by your playing. Clair de Lune is one of my favorite pieces, and you played it so beautifully…"

The white haired boy blushed, and he gave another shy smile. "Thank you very much… I'm Allen Walker, it's nice to meet you all…"

"Ah!" Lavi said suddenly, blinking, "You have an accent!"

Lenalee tilted her head slightly. "You do, don't you? But you speak Japanese very well… Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Um, well, I was born and raised in London, but I've traveled all over… I've been living in Japan for about three years now."

Lavi grinned. "I thought you might be British. I'm good with recognizing accents! I'm from America."

"Eh? Really? You don't have an accent."

"Nah, I've been living in Japan for years, I ditched it forever ago. The only one here who's a native Japanese is Kanda. Lenalee is from China."

"Really?" Allen asked again, smiling a more easy smile now, "So you guys are all friends, then?"

"You bet! Me and Yuu-chan here—"

"Don't use my first name, idiot—"

"—Are seniors. I'm a film major, and Kanda is photography. Lenalee is a sophomore, and she's a dance major. You're a first year, ne? Orchestra major, am I right?"

"Ah… Yes, I am…"

"Then stick with us, kid!" Lavi cheered, suddenly swooping down on Allen, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "We'll take care of ya!"

"Yes!" Lenalee agreed. "Let's be friends!"

Allen, for a moment, seemed overwhelmed. But, slowly, he nodded.

"Alright," he said softly, a gentle smile on his face and in his eyes. "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu, Lavi-san, Lenalee-san, and… Kanda-san, right?"

Allen turned to look up at Kanda, still smiling. Kanda narrowed his eyes at the shorter boy.

Something about this kid bugged him. He was too polite, too kind. His smiles seemed slightly strained, just a tiny bit forced. Not to mention his bizarre looks. Now, standing this close to him, Kanda was able to see that his white hair really was his natural color, and not bleached. The scar running over his left eye had a strange, precise shape, almost as if it had been carved onto his face – a pentacle on his forehead, a long line running down his eyebrow and eye and down his cheek before curving. Everything about him seemed abnormally pale.

It bugged him.

"Che," Kanda said, glaring, "Stay out of my way, Moyashi."

And that was how Kanda Yuu met Allen Walker.

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**WELL! That's that.**

**What do you guys think?**

**I know, a bit on the short side, but the next one will be slightly longer. Forgive any grammatical errors, I don't have a beta, and am correcting it myself.**

**I wish summaries could be longer! I tried to work in that they're all art students in the summary, but no matter how many times I wrote it, I couldn't quite fit it all in while still letting it flow nicely. -Sighs- Oh well.**

**Well, I guess that's all I have to say for now! Next time we'll get a peek into Kanda's life, and learn about Allen's illness. Should be interesting. And I'm wondering how I should go about writing a depressed!Kanda. 'Cause that's what he is, after all, thinking his life is meaningless, no reason to live, etc., etc. Should I make him ever-so-slightly suicidal…? Not that he would go through with it… Well, Kanda's selfish enough to kill himself, but I think he'd figure it to be the pussy's way out. xDDD I don't know, maybe I'm thinking to hard.**

**So…**

…

**That's it. Review, please? –Sparkly eyes- It'll make me update sooner~**


	2. Chapter 2

**OH MY GOD. ; w ; You guys are so great! I can't believe how much response I got! I got a ton of reviews and alerts and favorites, I was so happy! I'm still really happy, actually.**

**SO, SO, SO, here's the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

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To say that Kanda and Allen were not getting along was an understatement.

"Idiot Moyashi, get out of my way, you're holding up the line."

"It's Allen, and I'm not and idiot, BaKanda, you are."

"Che. An idiot's an idiot, Moyashi."

"It's Allen! All-en!"

"Mo-ya-shi. Now move, stupid, so other people can get food. Frickin' black hole…"

"Hey! I can't help it if I have a large appetite!"

"Yeah, whatever, Moyashi, move."

"It's ALLEN!"

Lenalee and Lavi sighed, smiling in amusement. They could provide no explanation for the two's animosity, except that they just had very conflicting personalities. Though the two of them had become fast friends with Allen, soon accompanying him everywhere, Kanda took an instant disliking to him. It didn't take long for a dislike of Kanda to rise up in Allen, either. The two were constantly arguing and bickering.

It seemed nothing could be done about it, so Lavi and Lenalee just stood back and watched and smiled pleasantly. From where they were standing, it was actually something of a blessing. Even if it was through childish name-calling and arguing, Allen's presence somehow made Kanda a bit livelier.

"I give them a month," Lenalee declared one day. It had been two weeks since the new school year had started, and since they had all met Allen. She and Lavi were walking to class – they had left Allen and Kanda alone, seeing that the two didn't have any classes for another half hour.

"Until they kill each other?" Asked Lavi, grinning.

"Or until they fall in love."

Lavi laughed. "So you think so too, huh?

"Mm-hmm…" Lenalee hummed slowly, eyes twinkling. "They're such opposites; it's bound to be one or the other, right?"

"Of course," He agreed.

"Allen…" Lenalee said softly, "I think he'll do Kanda a lot of good… Even now I can see it… Somehow, he's keeping Kanda grounded, even if it's only a little bit... But still…"

"Hmm?"

"... I'm worried about him." Lenalee confessed, turning to glance at Lavi with a concerned look on her face. "Kanda… It's been really bad lately, hasn't it…? I'm worried about what he may do if he gets any worse."

"Yeah…" Lavi said, his face clouding. "I'm worried, too…"

* * *

"Smoking's bad for you, you know…"

Kanda turned to glare at the younger boy. After Lenalee and Lavi had left for their classes, Kanda had wandered off to the back alley behind the visual arts studio to have a smoke. Allen had followed him.

"Che… So?" He asked, scoffing at him before taking a long drag, exhaling it slowly.

"You'll get lung cancer."

"Yeah? And?"

Allen frowned at him. "And?" He repeated, stuck somewhere between puzzlement and indignation, "Lung cancer will kill you, BaKanda. Everyone knows that…"

Kanda took another drag and glanced sideways at Allen, who stood with his arms crossed over his chest, a childish pot on his face.

"What does it matter?" Kanda asked slowly, glaring, "Who cares? I'll die eventually. Who cares if it's of old age or cancer? Who cares if it's fifty years from now or tomorrow? It doesn't matter." Kanda dropped his cigarette and ground it out with the heel of his shoe, sighing. "I don't give a flying fuck if I die."

Allen stared at him, face blank eyes wide. He opened his mouth to say something, and quickly closing it again. He shut his eye, shaking his head slowly, as if completely baffled with what Kanda had said. "How… How can you say that? How can you just not care?" He asked softly. "You act like life doesn't even matter…"

Kanda shrugged. "It doesn't." He said simply, "There are millions of people out there. What does one life matter? It doesn't count for anything."

"Of course it does!" Allen cried, eyes wide, "Life is a gift! It should be something cherished! Thinking like that… It's wrong."

Kanda gave Allen a flat look, rolling his eyes. "I don't care. Life is meaningless."

"Meaningless? What about your friends? What about your family? They don't think so."

Kanda snorted. "My family doesn't need me. They have my brother. It doesn't matter if I live or die."

"…" Allen was silent. He stared blankly at Kanda. How could anyone think like that? How could someone like this exist? How could someone just have no will or passion to live? It was so wrong… It made Allen sick.

"You're wrong." Allen said softly, shaking his head. "You're wrong."

"Really?" Kanda asked.

"Yes." Allen said firmly, suddenly looking at Kanda with a fierce expression. "You're wrong, and I'll make you see it."

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"Fucking Beansprout, stop following me around, it's annoying as shit."

"Not… until… you tell me… why!"

It had been a week since Allen and Kanda's conversation. At every opportunity, Allen had been at Kanda's heels, pestering him, demanding to know why he acted the way he did. Kanda was getting pissed.

"Tell you why what?"

"Why… You think… Life is meaningless!"

Kanda stopped walking, pinching the bridge of his nose and growling softly. He had been walking so fast that Allen had to jog to keep up with him. Now that he had stopped, Allen stopped just in front of him, leaning forward with his hands on his knees and gasping for breath. For some reason, the slight exertion has worn the eighteen out a great deal, and he was having a hard time recovering from it.

"It just is, idiot. Why the fuck are you still going on about it?"

"Because… You're wrong!"

"Fuck you! I don't give a fuck what you think, just leave me alone already! God!"

They were in the school's front courtyard, and their yelling was quickly gathering attention. Everyone present had now turned to look in their direction.

"No!" Allen cried, standing up straight and clenching his fists at his side. "I won't leave you alone, not until I make you see that you're wrong!"

"Will you fucking get it through your head already? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. You're not going to fucking change my mind!"

"But—"

"GOD! Just fucking shut up already!"

And then Kanda swung. His fist connected with Allen's chest. The slight boy was easily knocked to the ground, and Kanda turned around and began to walk away. He had almost reached the school's gates when he heard a cry.

"Ohmaigawd! Is he okay?!"

Kanda turned around. Allen was still on the ground, but something was wrong. He was curled up on his side, fists wrapped up in his vest at his chest and breathing rapid and uneven. Shocked, Kanda walked quickly back to the younger, dropping to his knees next to him.

"O-oi, Moyashi, what—?"

Kanda grabbed the boy's shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position. He was obviously in pain, his eyes screwed shut, hands still at his chest, gasping for air. Beads of sweat were forming at his brow, and he was trembling. He opened his eyes slightly, trying to focus on Kanda.

"K-Kanda…" He gasped, struggling to breath. "Hospital…"

And then he passed out. His eyes fluttered shut and his head slumped forward, still in a sitting position with his shoulders being supported by Kanda. Kanda stared in wide eyes shock for a moment before looking around, yelling for someone to call an ambulance.

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Lenalee and Lavi shuffled out of the hospital room, both looking quite pale and shaken. Kanda had called them in the ambulance, and they had rushed to the hospital to meet up with Kanda in the waiting room. Allen was kept in the ER for an hour before they moved him to a room and allowed them to see him. Lenalee and Lavi went in first, and Kanda parked himself in a chair by the door and waited silently.

Lenalee looked over at Kanda, a grave expression on her face. "He's awake now."

Kanda grunted.

"I think you should talk to him."

Kanda turned to glare at Lenalee. "Why?"

"He won't say what happened…" Lavi explained in an uncharacteristically quiet voice. "But… We think he'll tell you."

"Why the fuck do you think he'd tell me?"

"Please, Kanda," Lenalee pleaded, tears jumping to her eyes. "Just talk to him."

Kanda sighed in aggravation, but rose to his feet, walking past Lenalee and Lavi and into the room.

Late afternoon sun filtered through the gauzy curtains, bathing the room in golden tones. Allen was lying in a bed that made him look even smaller and more fragile. He was hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV. His eyes were closed, but he opened them wearily when Kanda entered.

For a moment, he looked surprised. Then he looked over to the window, avoiding Kanda's eye. "Hey," He said, voice rough. He was pale, and seemed completely exhausted.

Kanda stood in the doorway for a moment, glaring. He closed the door, walked over to one of the chairs next to the bed, turned it around, and straddled it, folding his arms over its back. He simply stared at Allen, and the boy was looking everywhere except at Kanda. An entire two minutes passed before Kanda finally spoke.

"So."

"… So." Allen said softly. "So, what…?"

"What the fuck happened?"

Allen stared at his hands. Kanda scowled.

"Lenalee and Lavi said you wouldn't tell them. They're fucking worried about you, you little shit." Although the words were harsh, there was no venom behind them. Kanda was surprisingly calm.

"I know." Allen answered, finally looking at Kanda.

"… Answer the fucking question." Kanda demanded.

Allen sighed softly, closing his eyes and flopping into his pillow. He stared up at the ceiling for a long time before glancing at Kanda again, giving him a pained and sheepish smile, shrugging ever so slightly.

And, quite simply, he said, "I'm sick."

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… **So, yeah.**

**D:**

**That was shorter then I hoped it would be.**

**But! Now the story is starting to move. Next time, we'll get the details of Allen's illness, and Kanda's story. –Nods- And some other stuff. –Hums- **

**Anyway. Please leave me some reviews! They warm my heart and keep me nice and toasty during these completely random Southern Californian winter storms…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh my! An update?! NO WAY! A MIRACLE!**

**Yeah, yeah, I know it's a little delayed, but I caught a cold, and then Christmas…**

**So yeah. D: Deal with it.**

**Once again, thanks for the reviews! You guys are amazing.**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine…**

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Absolute silence. Kanda could only stare at the boy, stunned. Allen, fidgeting under his gaze, looked away again.

"Sick," Kanda repeated quietly. Allen nodded.

"Yes…"

"… How sick?"

Allen didn't answer right away. "Well…" He drew out, frowning slightly, "'Sick' really isn't the word… It's more of a condition, but... I'm really sick."

"With what?" Kanda ground out. Allen sighed.

"It's called Angel's Heart condition," He said, pausing a moment. He smiled slightly, a humorless chuckle escaping him. "Terrible name, isn't it? It was named after a little girl who had the first documented case of it… It's…"

"Terminal," Kanda finished for him. Allen nodded.

"Yeah."

"… You're dying."

"… Yeah."

They were both quiet again. Kanda leaned back slightly, scrubbing at his face with his hands, an aggravated sigh escaping him. "Shit…" He muttered. Lenalee and Lavi would not take this news well at all. He glanced up to glare at the younger boy. "So what the fuck is it?"

"Well…" Allen began slowly, staring at his hands folded in his lap, "People with it are born with very weak hearts and hypotension… Y'know, low blood pressure… Anemia, too... Heart transplants can't be done because it's nearly impossible to stabilize blood pressure during surgery; surgery strains the body too much to keep it high enough. There's no cure. No real effective treatment, either. All they can do is give medication that suppresses the symptoms… It's not enough, though. Most people who have it die of heart failure or heart attacks when they're still kids."

"… So, what happened? Earlier, I mean, at school…"

Allen blinked up at Kanda, humming. "Ahh, well, when you shoved me in the chest, it put strain on my heart and made my blood pressure drop… So I passed out…" Allen gave Kanda another sheepish smile, shrugging a bit. "But that's happened to me quite a few times. I end up being carted to the hospital like this at least once a month… Running around earlier probably didn't help, either… But no real harm done! I'll be fine by morning, I can go back to school tomorrow!"

Kanda stared at him, a sudden rage rushing through him. How could this little idiot be so cheerful? It was bull shit – his happiness was so fake, so transparent. Kanda could see right through him. He tried way too hard to be so happy, and it pissed Kanda off.

"How the fuck can you be so nonchalant about this?" He growled, gaze hard, "You're fucking sick, and you run around like it's no big deal? Are you fucking retarded on top of all that, too? How can you be so careless about it?! Fucking idiot!" Kanda slammed his fist against the night stand next to Allen's bed, making the boy, stunned by Kanda's tirade, jump. "You said there's no cure, no fucking treatment! If it's terminal, why are you fucking running around like you're perfectly healthy? It's so stupid!"

It took a few moments for Allen to recover from the shock of Kanda's words, but Allen was soon returning the man's glare. "I'm not going to live out my life in a hospital bed. I'm not going to waste my life, I'm going to live it."

"You're fucking dying, you crazy shit!" Kanda shouted, standing up

"I'm not going to die!" Allen yelled back, sitting up and grabbing onto the sheets of the bed to steady himself. "Not now!"

"You said it was terminal," Kanda snapped.

"So?!" Allen spat, glaring. "I've lived this long! I'm the only one to live this long with it! I have a better chance of surviving then anyone! Maybe I will be able to live with it, maybe I won't! It doesn't matter right now! I'm not going to die today, I'm not going to die tomorrow, that much I know for sure, so I'm going to live my life!"

The outburst seemed to tire Allen out. He flopped back into his pillows, rolling over on his side to face the window, away from Kanda.

"I can't die, not now. I have to graduate. I have to keep going… I promised Mana I would… I'm going to live a normal life for as long as I possibly can…"

Again, silence fell. After a long moment, Kanda sighed and sat back down in his chair, staring at the lump on the bed. "That doesn't change the fact that you're dying."

"..."

"And you are going to die, sooner rather then later."

"I know that… But I'm not going to die right now…"

"… I'm not telling Lenalee and Lavi. You have to tell them yourself."

"I know."

"You should have told us from the beginning."

"Yeah… I know. But…" Allen glanced over his shoulder at Kanda. "Would any of you have become my friend if you knew that I was dying? Honestly? No one would ever want to become friends with someone who could just drop dead the next day. Who would put themselves through that?"

Kanda didn't answer. Allen turned back to the window. Kanda stood and left the room.

Who _would_ put themselves through that? Kanda didn't answer because he didn't have one.

* * *

Lenalee sat with her face in her hands. Lavi sat next to her, staring at his lap. Kanda sat on the other side of the table. Around them, the hospital cafeteria buzzed, but they didn't seem to notice.

"He's dying." Lenalee whispered.

Kanda nodded, grunting in affirmation. He picked up his soda but didn't take a drink from it. God, he needed a cigarette...

"… It's not fair." She murmured, and she sniffled. By the way her shoulders were shaking, Kanda could tell she was fighting back tears. "Why Allen-kun? He's so sweet, and kind, and… He's so _good_." Lenalee lifted her head slowly, letting her hands fall to the table. "Why would God take him away?"

"It's a miracle he's lived as long as he has," Lavi pointed out, his voice unusually soft. "I've read about Angel's Heart condition… There's a lot of medical books in Panda-Jiji's shop… It's really rare, and really severe… As time goes on, the heart just gets weaker and weaker… The whole body gets weaker… It's almost impossible for someone to live past the age of ten. For Allen to live to eighteen…" Lavi shook his head, stunned. "It's really amazing. But…"

"To live this long with it… His body must be so weak… He can't live with it for very much longer, can he?" Lenalee asked, looking to Lavi. "He's going to die soon, isn't he?"

Lavi frowned, glancing away. "I don't know… I'm not a doctor, but… It's only logical, right?" He looked back at Lenalee, then at Kanda. "His body won't be able to keep up for much longer…"

Kanda didn't say anything. He had never seen the two so somber… It was unnerving. He was so used to them being loud and annoying. The news of Allen's imminent death had completely shaken the two to the core. They hadn't even known the boy for a month, yet they were this devastated over it…

Kanda didn't know what to feel himself. He didn't like the Moyashi, but that didn't mean he wanted the annoying bean dead. He certainly didn't deserve to die. He was the most irritating human being on the planet, yes, but did Kanda really hate him? Really, truly loathe the kid?

He didn't know.

Kanda felt so blank, so devoid of any emotion at all… He didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to say to Lavi and Lenalee. He just didn't know.

"I'm surprised," Lavi began suddenly after a long stretch of silence, "How come Allen-chan's condition was never out there? I mean, Allen-chan's kind of famous, isn't he? You'd think the media would know about it… He must have hid it very well…"

"Poor Allen-kun," Lenalee said, "Poor Allen-kun…"

Silence.

"I'm not abandoning him."

This made Kanda and Lavi both look up in surprise. Lenalee was staring hard at the two. There were tears in her eyes, yet her face was completely composed. "We can't abandon him," She repeated, "We _can't._ He's our friend, it doesn't matter if he's… If he's dying." Slowly, Lenalee's face began to crumble as the tears that had been hanging off her lashes began to roll down her cheeks. She was trembling, but she went on in her quavering voice, "I-it would be heartless to, to leave him. We c-can't. No m-matter what, we have to stay by his side until… Until th-the… e-end…"

Lenalee buried her head in her arms folded on the table, sobbing loudly now. Lavi put a comforting hand on Lenalee's shoulder, and he looked over at Kanda. Kanda stared long and hard at the two before he got to his feet and walked out of the cafeteria.

He was going home.

* * *

Kanda stared at the blinking red light of his answering machine. He had finally noticed the insistent beeping of the damned machine after God knows how long, and he realized that he hadn't checked his messages in… He couldn't remember. Sighing, he took out his pack of cigarettes and lit one before he hit the blinking button.

"You have 23 new messages."

Kanda blinked. So it had been a little while, then.

" First message, sent at 12:37 AM, April 6, 2008:"

Damn. Okay, so it had been a long while. But two weeks wasn't too long, right? Kanda began systematically deleting his messages, listening to about three or four seconds of each before banishing them away to Telemarketing-and-Spam-Calls hell.

"Message deleted. Next message, sent at 6:02 PM, April 27, 2008: 'Neeee, Yuu-to, why don't you ever answer your phone?'"

Kanda actually jumped when the synthesized, female voice of the answering machine gave way to his older brother's voice. His finger immediately went to the delete button, but, for some reason, he stopped himself.

"'You never call us, either… Mom and Dad worry about you, you know? Well, Mom does, at least… Ah, and I worry about you, too! You haven't come to see us in a while… The new semester started a few weeks ago, right? You're a senior now! Pro'ly excited, right? Maa, but you don't get excited about much, huh, Yuu-to? … Seriously, though, Yuu… Call us sometime, will you? We want to know how you're doing… You always seem so down, we really are worried about you. Just call, alright? Otherwise I'm gonna have to go down there and check on ya, make sure your still alive! … W-wait, that came out wrong! I didn't mean it like we think you might do yourself in! N-Not that we don't worry about that either, but— ARGH! Forget it, you know what I mean! Eto, well… Bye, then, little bro… Love ya… And seriously! At least answer your cell!' End of message. To delete this message, press— Message deleted. End of messages."

Kanda stared at his answering machine for a little while longer before grounding out his cigarette and shuffling off to his bedroom, flopping onto the unmade bed. He stared up at the ceiling, his brother's message still ringing in his ears.

"_Mom and Dad worry about you, you know?"_

"_You always seem so down, we really are worried about you."_

"_Otherwise I'm gonna have to go down there and check on ya, make sure your still alive! … W-wait, that came out wrong! I didn't mean it like we think you might do yourself in! N-Not that we don't worry about that either, but—"_

"_Bye, then, little bro… Love ya…"_

"_Life is a gift! It should be something cherished! Thinking like that… It's wrong."_

Kanda blinked. That last one… That's what the Moyashi had said a weak ago.

"_How can you say that? How can you just not care? You act like life doesn't even matter…"_

"_You're wrong. You're wrong, and I'll make you see it."_

Suddenly, it dawned on Kanda why Allen had gotten so worked up.

Kanda didn't care whether he lived or died. It didn't matter at all to him, yet Allen clung to life when he already had one foot in the grave. Kanda almost laughed. It was ironic, really.

"_You're wrong."_

A shudder went down Kanda's spine. Was it wrong? To have no desire to live?

"_You're wrong, and I'll make you see it."_

Kanda turned off the lamp on his nightstand, rolled over on his side, and closed his eyes, still fully clothed.

He didn't sleep well that night.

* * *

**…**

**Eh heh. Yeah.**

**So, I promised that we'd get Kanda's story, buuuuttt…**

**I lied. :3**

**But, BUT, you did get a little peek, right? Yes indeedy, you most certainly did!**

**Anywho, next time we'll discover the joys of "Allen-sitting", quite possibly get Kanda's story (maybe), and maybe see the first hints of Yullen?! –Gasps- Stay tuned! **

**AND REVIEW, PLZ! They make me oh-so-happy. ;D**


	4. Chapter 4

**; A ; Dude, you guys, I am sooooooo sorry. This would have been here a month ago, but finals literally tried to kill me. AP Art is a monster of a class. I've been working like a mad woman for two weeks doing nothing but art. Then life just exploded… –Sighs and hides in the corner-**

**Anyway. I still love you guys for all the support. :3 You people are so awesome.**

**So, since you probably don't want to hear me babble anymore, awaaaaaay we go!**

**Disclaimer: … If only…**

**

* * *

  
**

As promised, Allen was at school the next day.

"So you're really feeling better?"

"Of course! I'm fine now."

"Are you sure? Really, really, really, really, really, really, really—"

"Lavi—"

"—really really really really—"

"Mou, Lavi, enough already!" Lenalee scolded lightly, the corners of her lips twitching up in a poorly suppressed smile.

"Fine, fine… But seriously, Allen-chan, really?"

Lenalee and Allen laughed. Kanda rolled his eyes.

It was true, the beansprout did look better, but something seemed off about him. He was always so pale, and he just seemed… fragile, as if one wrong touch would have him shattering in a million pieces. Know that he knew, Kanda could see it plain as day. He just couldn't believe he hadn't seen Moyashi's illness earlier. He really was sick…

The bell rang shrilly above them, and they all glanced up blinking.

"Well… Class is starting," Lenalee said, standing up off the step she had been sitting on. Lavi and Allen stood up, too, and Kanda, who had been leaning against the staircase's wall, straightened.

"Yeah, I have a class, too," Lavi said, stretching.

"Me, too," said Allen.

Kanda grunted.

"'Kay, then, see you guys later," Lenalee said, walking off. Allen and Lavi cried cheery farewells and headed off in the opposite direction. Kanda followed Lenalee, whose class was in the same general direction.

After a long, silent moment, Lenalee spoke up. "Um, Kanda…"

"What?"

"Well, Lavi and I were talking…"

"… Yes?" Kanda glanced at the girl, who was frowning down at her feet as she walked.

"Well… We decided that Allen shouldn't be… Y'know, alone during the day. I mean, he's at school all day, everyday. Even when he doesn't have classes, he's practicing in one of the empty sound rooms… So, Lavi and I decided that, since most of the time it works out that at least one of us has a break period when Allen doesn't have a class, we should, you know… Just hang around him. In case something happens, and he was all alone… It'd be bad."

"…"

"… What do you think?"

Kanda stopped, Lenalee paused, too, staring intently at Kanda.

"… You want us to _babysit_ him?"

"Er!" Lenalee smiled a bit sheepishly, twiddling her fingers and shrugging, "Kinda, I guess… I mean, we wouldn't tell him that, of course! But… I think it'd be a good idea. Just in case. So will you do it?"

"… No way in hell." Kanda suddenly turned right and began walking to his class again.

"What?" Lenalee cried after him, pouting, "Kanda! Come on!"

Kanda let out an annoyed sigh, ignoring her.

* * *

Though Kanda had not agreed, Lenalee and Lavi continued with their plans, and "Allen-sitting" began. To the best of their abilities, they made sure not a single moment passed where Allen was not accompanied by someone. Allen, the little idiot he was, barely noticed, and seemed even glad to have the constant company.

Thursday rolled by again and Lenalee cornered Kanda in his first period class.

"You are helping us, Kanda," She said sternly. Though she was a good head shorter then Kanda, Lenalee was perhaps the only person on the planet willing to stand up to him. And there she stood, hands on her hips, and dangerous scowl on her lips, and an evil glare directed full force at the Japanese man.

Kanda snorted. "Why should I?"

"Because we're his friends!" Lenalee snapped, "And so are you, so don't even try to deny it."

"He doesn't need to be babysat."

"He's sick, Kanda! And besides, he enjoys our company." Lenalee marched up to Kanda, standing on her tiptoes (an easy feat for a ballerina) and waving a finger in his face. "And so help me, if you don't do this, you are going to be in more trouble then you have ever been in your entire life!"

"Yeah? What are you going to do?"

"I'll tell my brother you tried to feel me up."

And so, Kanda went to Allen-sitting.

* * *

"Eh?! Kanda? What are you doing here?"

Allen looked up at the older man with an astonished gaze. Kanda sneered at him, dropping his bags at the door.

"Shut up. They made me."

Allen made a small sound of understanding before looking back to the piano. They were in one of the small practice rooms the school had for the orchestra majors, and Kanda had just interrupted his warm-up. The wood paneled walls were soundproof, and a grand piano dominated the center of the room. Natural light provided by a skylight above them flooded the room.

"So I guess that means you're the one who's going to keep an eye on me today?" Allen asked as he went back to his scales (though why he needed a warm-up at all was a mystery to Kanda).

Kanda blinked. "So you knew what they were up to."

Allen smiled. "Yeah, but I don't mind. It makes them feel better, and it's nice to have company."

Kanda was silent. He glanced around and spotted a chair in the corner. A few quick strides had him across the room, and he dropped into it gracelessly. Allen smiled at him, running through his scales one more time before he paused, took a deep breath, and began to play.

It was only the second time he had seen him play, but Kanda was just as mesmerized as he had been the first time. The music filled the room, and it sent chills up Kanda's spine. It was if the music was flowing straight through him.

The piece was different, though – much different, something he would never expect the beansprout to play. It was slow and gentle, but incredibly somber, melancholy, even. The piece seemed to speak of loneliness. He didn't recognize the piece, but it made something well up in Kanda's chest, something achingly sad. It came from nowhere, and it startled him.

Suddenly, Allen stopped playing. The last notes he had played hung in the air only a short while before disappearing, as if they had simply fallen out of existence. Kanda blinked in surprise. He knew enough about music to know that Allen had been at the crescendo of the song, and could not imagine why he would have stopped.

Slowly, Allen let his fingers slide of the keys and into his lap. He was frowning intently at the piano, his brows furrowed.

"I can't remember."

"Remember what?" Kanda asked automatically.

"That song." Allen answered, leaning back a little on the piano bench, looking up at the skylight above him. "A few years ago… I saw a movie. I can't remember the name of it, but that song was in it… It was the only time I had ever heard it, and it was just really... Touching. I fell in love with the song. I used to play it over and over again… But that's all I remember of the song now." Allen looked back to the keys, sighing. "I keep trying to remember the rest, but it just won't come to me. I can't remember the name of the movie, so I can't look up the score. All I remember is that it was a film I saw ages ago with Mana… That's all…"

They were both quiet again for a long moment before Kanda spoke again.

"Who's Mana?"

"Huh?"

"Mana. That's the second time you've mentioned that name. Who is it?"

"Oh… Mana was my father. Well, my uncle, really, but he was like a father to me."

"What do you mean?"

Allen didn't answer immediately. He stared at the piano for a long time before placing his hands back on the keys and playing a different piece. This one Kanda recognized, 'Dreaming' by Claude Debussy – something Kanda would expect Allen to play.

"My mother died giving birth to me," Allen began, his face blank, concentrating on his music. "She hemorrhaged. There was nothing they could do for her. I almost died shortly after that, and that's when they discovered my condition. My father… Well, I supposedly didn't have one. He likely doesn't know I exist. The only family my mother had was her older brother Mana. He took me in."

"Where is he now?" Kanda asked, noticing he referred to the man in past tense.

"He died." Allen murmured after along moment, "Murdered."

"Murdered?"

Allen nodded. "You see… Mana was a pianist. Not very famous, but he was well known. He was the one who taught me how to play, as soon as I was big enough to reach the keyboard. We traveled around a lot… We went everywhere, really, staying a few months before moving somewhere else. We were pretty nomadic, I suppose. When I was eleven… We were in Germany. Mana had been hired to play for a big orchestra while their pianist was on leave… It was such a random thing."

"What was?"

"The murder. Homicide, actually… Mana hadn't been targeted. There was no reason behind it… He had been killed by a serial killer. He was insane… It was only by chance that he came to our apartment building. He killed Mana… I think a few other people, too, but I can't remember that well… Afterwards, they told me that he was going to kill me, too. When the police came, he was carving at my face. That's how I got this." Allen paused to point at his scar. "But I don't remember anything. I remember going to bed that night, and then I remember waking up in the hospital. Nothing in between… But I guess that's a blessing, huh?"

Allen fell silent, lifting up his head a little and letting his hands fall in his lap as he finished the piece. Kanda studied his face, but he saw no tears, just a sort of hollow sadness. Kanda sighed and got to his feet, picking up his things.

"C'mon." He grunted.

"What?" Allen asked, blinking up in surprise.

"I said, come on."

Allen lurched to his feet obediently, nearly knocking the piano bench over. "Where are we going?"

"To get lunch."

"I don't have any cash on me." Allen explained, grabbing his book bag which he had tossed in the corner.

"I'll pay! Just come on!"

Allen grinned and followed him out of the room.

* * *

Kanda instantly regretted his offer as soon as Allen started to order. He had forgotten how much the idiot ate.

"I'll have three burgers, two orders of fries, a plate of spaghetti, onion rings, two plates of curry, and, oh, do you guys have any blueberry cheesecake?"

"Y-yes?" The astounded waitress said, still scrambling to write down the Moyashi's order.

"Then I'll have two slices of that!"

"Okay…" The waitress scurried off as fast as she could. Kanda turned to give Allen a long, blank stare.

"You can't be serious." He deadpanned. "You can't possibly eat that much."

Allen looked at him in surprise. "Why not?"

"What the fuck do you mean? You're five foot nothing and a hundred pounds! What, has no one fed you in the past two weeks, Moyashi?"

"Hey! First of all, I'm five foot five, not five nothing! Second, I'm supposed to eat a lot to maintain my weight. And lastly, my name is ALLEN! AL-LEN! It's not that hard, BaKanda."

Kanda snorted. "Coming from the idiot who's expecting a free meal."

Allen opened his mouth to protest but closed it with an audible click. "At least I picked the cheapest place," He grumbled instead.

An awkward silence settled between them. Well, for Allen at least. He glanced around and fidgeted. Kanda watched him with a blank expression.

"Um…" Allen glanced up at Kanda slowly. "So… Um, what about your family?" He finally blurted out, desperate for anything to break the silence. Kanda blinked in surprise.

"My family? Why the hell do you care, Baka Moyashi?" Kanda snorted.

"It's Allen," the boy corrected automatically before continuing. "And I told you about my family… It's only fair, right?"

Kanda wanted to tell him to shut up and stop asking such nosy questions, and had in fact opened his mouth to do just that, but the words got caught in his throat. The stupid beansprout with his gentle smile and big eyes, was staring at him expectantly, his head tilted at an innocent angle. Kanda was having an exceedingly difficult time refusing him.

Kanda cursed mentally and heaved a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. Fucking Moyashi. "What do you want to know?" He grumbled.

Allen blinked. Tapping a finger to his chin, he hummed, "Ummm… Do you have any brother and sisters?"

"I have an older brother. He's four years older then me."

"Really? Huh… I always kind of pegged you as an only child."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"N-nothing." Allen answered quickly. He glanced about the room, trying to think up another question. "Um, what do you parents do?"

"My dad owns a company."

Allen stared, quite a moment as his brain tried to process the information he had just received. "Wait a minute… A computer company? You don't mean… Wait a minute! You don't mean Kanda Incorporated, do you?!"

"That's the one," Kanda answered in a bored tone.

"Oh my God! But that's one of the biggest shipping companies in Japan! Your family is filthy rich!"

"No fuck, idiot."

"If I had known you were rich, I would have made you take me to a more expensive restaurant… Hm… So Kanda is your last name… I thought it was your first. What is your first name?"

"Fuck you."

"Huh?"

"You don't need to know."

Allen pouted. "Aw, come on. I won't use it, I just want to know."

Kanda's eye twitched dangerously. Since when did the stupid faces the beansprout pull make him want to give in to the little idiot's request? "If you ever say it, I swear to God, I'll kill you."

"I won't, I won't!"

Kanda gave him a long glare before muttering, "It's Yuu."

Allen stared at him. Suddenly, the corners of his mouth twitched up. "Isn't that a girl's name?" He asked.

If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead on the spot.

"Fucking Moyashi, I'll kill you!" He growled, reaching over the table to grab at his neck.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Allen cried, ducking away from Kanda's hands. "Calm down!"

Kanda flopped back in his seat, glaring.

"Geez, I'll ask another question… Um… Do you plan on working for your dad after you graduate?"

"No."

"… Just no?"

"Hn."

"Why not?"

"He plans on having my brother succeed." Kanda explained with a shrug.

"What? People still do that?"

"My father is a very traditional person."

"Oh…" Allen paused, staring quietly at Kanda. "You don't get along with your father, do you?"

"No, I don't." He answered curtly.

"Mm… So… What got you into photography?" Allen asked, making a hasty change in subject.

"… My older brother liked photography. He taught me how."

"Really?" Allen smiled. "That's cute."

"What?" Kanda asked, surprised.

"You looked up to your older brother. That's cute." Allen explained, grinning now.

"W-what the fuck?" Kanda exclaimed, flustered, "Fuck you!"

Allen laughed. Two waitresses swooped down to their table, loaded with a heavy burden of food. The placed a cheeseburger and fries in front of Kanda. The rest of the table space was used for Allen's food.

As promised, Allen devoured all of it. Kanda watched him with a slightly disgusted expression. Somehow, between his ravenous eating, Allen still managed to ask questions.

"So you're gonna be a photographer?"

"It's what I'm going to school for, dipshit."

"I've never seen any of your photos. I've never even seen you take photos," Allen pointed out. "When do I get to see them?"

"Eventually."

"You've heard me play piano. I want to see your photos."

"God, you whine a lot. The photo department is putting on an exhibit in three weeks. Happy?"

"You mean I can come?"

"Yeah. Lenalee and the Baka Usagi are, they'd drag you there anyway."

Allen smiled. "Yeah, but it's nice to have been invited…" He had finished eating (Kanda still couldn't figure out where all that food went), and he was staring out the window. "You know, Kanda… I think you're actually a nice person."

"Are you retarded or something?"

"No, I mean it!" Allen insisted, looking at Kanda seriously. "I mean, you're a total asshole, and you act like you hate everyone, but I don't think you do. You just want to scare people. But Lavi and Lenalee must be friends with for a reason, right? I think you're a good person."

"… What do you want?" Kanda deadpanned, looking at the younger boy suspiciously.

"Nothing!" Allen cried defensively. "Jeez… But you still are gonna pay, right?"

"Leech."

"That's still a yes, right?"

* * *

**Well…**

**I got nothing clever to say. ;D So just review, m'kay? (Hey, that rhymed!)**

**Next time, Kanda's photos, and a lil' performance from Lenalee! And some other stuff that I haven't thought up yet. Some Yullen action, perhaps? –Wiggles eyebrows- Should be fun. **

**See you in March!**


End file.
